Friday, January 13, 2012

Yes, Moses flew to Japan on a spaceship and died there

Yes, Moses flew to Japan on a spaceship and died thereYou may remember that Jesus Christ walked through Siberia to die in Japan, but did you know that Moses skipped the cross-continental jaunt and took a spacecraft instead? Also, were you aware that his tomb is now a tourist trap?

At Mount Houdatsu in Japan's western Ishikawa Prefecture, intrepid travelers can find the Tomb of Moses. After showing the 10 Commandment to the Israelites, some manner of divine UFO deposited Moses in Japan, where he lived to the ripe old age of 583. Also, the Romans were somehow involved. It's all very complex.

According to the fantastically apocryphal Takenouchi Documents (which we talked about previously here) Moses dropped off a new set of 10 Commandments in Japan after hanging out on Mount Sinai. Here they are ? be sure to amend your theology textbooks:

Yes, Moses flew to Japan on a spaceship and died there

1. Thou shalt worship the gods of Heavenly Omoya Japan
2. Thou shalt worship the Omuya Hitsuki Emperor
3. Thou shalt not disobey the Sun Kami, for if thee do thou willst be smited
4. Thou shalt not disobey the law of the emperor of the Heavenly Omoya
5. Thou shalt not disobey the emperor of the Omoya
6. Thou shalt protect the law of the five races of Ajiti
7. Thou shalt not disobey the law of the Omoya of the Ajitikunists, the decided law of Ajitikuni
8. Thou shalt rescue the red and correct the black of heart
9. Thou shalt inform thyself of the stories of other kami
10. Thou shalt worship the spirit kami - Twice, ?men!

You can also find the burial mounds of Moses' family near Mount Houdatsu. And if geography keeps Japan outside of your budget, know that you can also find Moses' grave in Kashmir.

Hat tip to Boom and The Independent. Top photo by Mew & Harry.

Source: http://io9.com/5874402/yes-moses-flew-to-japan-on-a-spaceship-and-died-there

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